A pain I hold dear

Copyright of Ranma ½ remains with Rumiko Takahashi. I doubt anyone would confuse this with the original series but it must be said that this is an independent fan creation.

This fanfic contains rough elements, self mutilation/harm and talk of suicide. I've been writing fanfics for going on 25 years now, I probably wouldn't have tagged these things back in the day but times change. No hentai in this one though so I suppose I've matured a little bit.

I suppose that I should mention this work takes place post-manga so it contains spoilers for the end of Ranma ½ as it was written.

This has been sitting in my WIP folder for fanfiction for probably 15 years but I dusted it off and made it presentable after watching the recent Netflix reboot, not up to my usual standards I think, but probably would have never seen the light of day otherwise.

**************Classic Snowflake Opening**************

“Great Granddaughter…” Cologne started softly, leaving her stick and dropping down onto the table. Getting no response she stepped forward and touched her aged finger beneath the teenager's chin, lifting her head till their eyes met. Tears streaked from Shampoo’s reddened eyes and Cologne let out a sigh, “You've known for a long time now that this was coming…”

“I know.” Shampoo nodded slightly her voice uneven.

Cologne closed her eyes for a moment, “I think it’s time we went back to China.”

The subject seemed to fill a bit of the emptiness in the room but the void was still far from full. Cologne waited patiently as long as she could before opening her eyes again, when she did, she kept her grimace to herself. “No can do that.” Shampoo said firmly, that same determined look in her eyes that Cologne both loved and dreaded.

Reaching out Cologne gently ran her hand through her granddaughter’s hair, pushing a lock of purple behind her ear, “Look at me…” Cologne started sympathetically, “You need to know when to give up.” Cologne shook her head, “You don’t think I’ve lived as long as I have without losing a few of my battles?” She asked rhetorically, “And this was a battle that you were forced to fight uphill from the start. Your punishment for failure, your Jusenkyo curse was already gifted to you by the council. There is no further shame here… only your stubbornness to admit defeat.”

“I not fail.” She said firmly, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Tomboy force Ranma into wedding, Ranma only want Shampoo!” But the trembling of her lip, her downcast eyes, and her whole demeanor failed to keep the bravado she tried to bring to the fore.

“It’s over.” Cologne shot back, eyes slitted, “You need to drop the attitude, let go of your pride, and accept the facts. Son-in… Ranma has chosen a different suitor and it’s high time we returned to our village to resume your training.”

Shampoo pursed her lips together tightly, “I will get Ranma, there-“

“Enough!” Cologne shouted, cutting her off. Turning her back to her Granddaughter, “You’re just as stubborn as Mousse, fitting isn’t it?” She grumbled before mounting her walking stick again. “With the attempted wedding just yesterday…” Cologne started again her voice softening, “I understand that you might need a little time to come to terms.” She conceded, “But understand, we both have our duties back in the village, and we cannot afford to waste time here with our prospects so dim.” As Shampoo sat there sniffling Cologne let out a sigh, “Please, consider what I have said… I wouldn’t lie to you… I love you.”

With that Cologne hopped out of the room leaving Shampoo to herself. Alone, Shampoo found she no longer had the will to keep her head up, dropping it back down onto her arm and crying openly. Never in her life had she cried so much or so hard. It was unbecoming of a warrior. But now… she felt like any other girl. Suddenly all those romantic movies she’d watched on television came to life for her. One shared experience that connected her and all woman who’d lost someone in their life. Love… She had never been entirely sure. She’d gone through the motions with what she thought she should be and how she thought she should act around her fiancée never knowing. Until now…

Mousse… her grandmother had compared her to that blind idiot. Never in her life had that comparison been made. It left her feeling tainted. Still, as she thought about it there was more there than she would ever like to admit. He had been chasing her for so long but the difference was that she openly rebuked his advances, telling him repeatedly he had no chance. Ranma had never given her that luxury, waffling between her and the other fiancées without a firm commitment. Stringing her along.

It didn’t matter, Mousse persevered. Struggling on toward some unattainable ideal. She remembered him beaten and injured after his fight to save her from her fate as a concubine of the bird man. Although she knew she would eventually be able to break free he had struggled through the ordeal, rescuing her and nearly losing his life in the process. The old memories brought to the surface the insult behind her great grandmother’s words dulled, in terms of drive she could only hope to match Mousse, that was in fact his greatest gift.

If she wanted any hope to win Ranma’s heart she would need to redouble her efforts. She could use stubbornness like Mousse now, she could use… And then it hit her.

********************

“My, you were out late.” Shampoo spoke out of the darkness in perfect Chinese, a luxury Cologne did not afford her since their stay in Japan began. “That was awful inconsiderate to push the dinner rush on me again.”

Mousse spun on his heel after locking the door. Although his vision was quite decayed his hearing was perfect, “What are you doing up?” He half-shouted in surprise.

“I was waiting for you… are you drunk?” She could smell the booze on him from across the room but she hoped that was more a function of where he had been than what he had been up to.

“No.” He paused a moment before adding, “I only drank a little to pass the time.”

“Good.” Shampoo relaxed back into the seat. Sometime ago Mousse had taken to making himself scarce on days she made plans to make a move on Ranma, it hadn’t taken her long to put two and two together. “I have a proposition for you. Come here, sit so we can talk.” She heard him bump into a chair but other than that he was graceful in his movements; she wondered how inebriated he really was.

“What is it?” There it was, in his voice, that far off hope half-suppressed by reason but still working its way to the surface through the cracks.

“Mousse, I need you to just sit there quietly and listen to what I say. When I am done you can talk, but not until, understood? I’m serious about this.”

A moment of silence lapsed between the two of them, Mousse taken aback at the tone of her voice before he agreed.

“I need you to help me win Ranma’s heart.” Shampoo said simply, “I am too close to losing him and I can’t let that happen.” She felt her chest tighten at the thought, “Anything you have, ideas, information, anything you can do to help me… I need your help.” She clenched her eyes tightly to hold back the tears, out of habit more than anything as her voice already betrayed her emotions in the darkened room. “Will you help me?”

Again, silence. She sat there listening, he was close, sitting right next to her at the round table, across the emptiness she swore she could feel his body heat, his heart beat. “No.” He said simply, “I can’t go through with it.”

“But-“

“You can’t do this to me anymore. Do you even understand what you’re asking? You’re asking me to help you find someone else… and don’t expect me to believe that bullshit about how I should only want your happiness when you know the only thing I want is you…” He trailed off with hardly a tear, in spite of the subject she marveled at how strong he had become, sure of himself and it happened under such harsh conditions.

“I know that it’s not an easy yes or no question but if you do help me there is something in it for you too.”

“What?” He snorted, his mood changing rapidly, “If he chooses you do I get a date? A kiss…? You would offer me something so paltry.” He seethed, “You’re an ice princess and you always have been.”

Now it was Shampoo’s anger that churned to the surface, “If he chooses me… then I’ll make you husband number two.”

Silence broken only by Mousses’ blubbering, “Wha- wha?”

“If I marry Ranma then I will marry you as well. As a strong woman of the Amazon tribe it is my prerogative to marry strong men and produce as many heirs as I can.” She gave a little stress to the producing heirs part and swore she could hear him gulp.

“You wouldn’t.” He countered unbelieving.

“In a heartbeat, you help me with this and you and me and Ranma will be together forever.” Shampoo lowered her voice giving it a dangerous edge, “This is our last chance, so the question is - will you help me win Ranma’s heart?”

His answer came as no surprise.

********************

Mousse laid uncomfortably on the sun-baked clay tile roof adjacent to the Tendo family dojo. His head peaked just barely over the ridge, giving him a view of Ranma exercising just inside the walls of the compound. The sun was coming down heavily as it had been all summer and Mousse had opted to wear a stripped down outfit. He was, after all, on espionage duty now.

He swallowed hard as he watched the martial artist at work. Mousse had always admired Ranma’s abilities he just never wanted him anywhere near Shampoo. Now that had changed. Mousse had never felt so close to getting his own hearts desired than he was now. He put the binoculars to the side and dropped down as Ranma turned momentarily in his direction. He hadn’t been spotted yet but Mousse didn’t doubt Ranma's abilities.

Despite the days of baking in the sun, he was no closer to a plan. The first ruinous thought that had flashed through his mind was the simplest solution, kill Akane. Would he kill for Shampoo? Of course he would. Unfortunately Ranma would also kill for Akane. Not to mention that it would be unbecoming behavior for a co-husband that he would have to live with. That left Mousse back at square one.

There was one thing though that Mousse did notice during his surveillance. Ranma was incredibly guarded. His father, mother, even a bit with Akane still. Ranma never let his guard down with anyone. Even alone his sleep was fitful - the sound of a moth flying errantly into the rice paper wall was enough to rouse him from what appeared to be dead sleep. There was so much he seemed afraid to say; express… it had to be wearing on him. Mousse couldn’t help but think of himself, he had always worn his heart on his sleeve and damned the consequences. He lived life how he wanted to, just not always with the desired results. To keep everything inside the way Ranma did… the more Mousse watched the more he pitied the man.

“Time to test the waters.” Mousse mumbled to himself and worked up his courage before jumping off the back side of the roof and running around to the Tendo dojo. Out of habit he prepared to leap over the wall before stopping himself and wind milling his arms to maintain his balance. He let out the breath he was holding, the warmth reflected back by the wall just a centimeter away. He stood upright and straightened out his clothes and walked around to the gate giving it a few hits with his fist.

“Coming!”

Mousse took a deep breath to calm himself. He thought of Shampoo back at the Neko Hanten. She was still shaken up from the wedding fiasco though she was trying to hide it. When he suggested that she stay away for a few days so that she would seem more reasonable she accepted the idea for once, though Mousse knew it was killing her not to do everything she could to ensure Ranma fell into her hands.

“Mousse.” Kasumi said a little startled. “Are you here for Ranma?”

Mousse gave a dismissing smile, “I just wanted to talk to him for a minute. Is he available?”

“Oh, well, he’s training right now but I’m sure he can spare a moment.” Kasumi took a step back offering Mousse entry.

Mousse gave a slight bow as he walked past the Tendo girl and walked along the inside wall with Kasumi at his side. He focused as best he could to keep nearby. His glasses were in need of replacement and he couldn’t spare the embarrassment.

“Ranma, you’ve got company.” Kasumi called out for him and continued into the house.

Mouse watched Ranma stop and turn to face him but that was all he could tell, “Yo.” Ranma offered in a neutral voice.

“Hey.” Mousse gave a slight wave and a smile, “Do you have a second?”

“I guess.” He responded non-committal, taking a few steps closer, breathing faster from his exercise.

“Ranma… Shampoo is very sorry about what happened with the wedding.” Mousse began simply.

“I’ll bet.” The reply was short, a bit of anger tainting the sarcasm.

“No, really.” Mousse insisted, “She asked that I come to apologize to you. You know how she is with words and she was afraid that if she gave the apology that she might not accurately convey her regret with sincerity.”

“And what? You’re some kind of wordsmith.” The anger was closer than Mousse had expected.
“No, but we both know that her skills lie in combat and not in the mastery of foreign languages. She knows where my abilities lie just as we know hers.” Mousse continued feeling a slight shift in the atmosphere, “She’s never been good at expressing her feelings, she told me to tell you that as a warrior she is only supposed to show her warrior side.” Mousse started talking for his love, “If she shows anything unbecoming of a warrior or the strong woman she is supposed to be it looks bad for her.”

“Is that it?” Ranma asked decisively after Mousse trailed off.

“No, it’s because of that she didn’t know what to do when she heard about the wedding. She can fight, she can get angry, and she can love, that’s Shampoo. Take it or leave it. And when she heard about the wedding… you tore her heart out and she had to do something. And those were her only three choices. She didn’t want to hurt you… but she didn’t know what else to do. She told me she felt like her world was ending.”

“Where’s Shampoo at now?” Ranma asked looking around.

“She’s at home, probably still crying.”

“Awww… geeze.” Ranma put his hand to the back of his head, “I mean, geeze…” He looked toward the sky for a few seconds, “Just tell her that I accept her apology…” He added at last.

“There’s something else too.”
”Hummm?”

“Ranma… she’s yours.” Mousse shook his head; he felt the tears well up in the corners of his eyes. It was a half-truth, “I-I renounce my claim on Shampoo’s heart… after seeing how she reacted after the wedding, seeing how broken up she is… she was destroyed. She loves you more than she could ever love me… I can’t compete with that.” The tears were falling openly now as Mousse turned away, “Please love her well.”

“Wait! What do you mean…? I-I- Akane… the wedding...” Ranma fumbled with the inadequacy of his grasp on the language.

“I could never be with her… there isn’t a place for me in her heart… only you.”

“But- I mean… after I marry Akane and all I mean… she’ll have to choose someone else… I- you could be there to pick up the pieces and… you know.”

Mousse turned back to Ranma his expression deadly serious, “You think a woman who holds her pride higher than you hold your own will still feel she has a reason for being after failing in such a grand endeavor?” Mousse shook his head, “You are her world…” Mousse held up his hands forming a pyramid, “Without you, her world collapses.” He dropped his hands down simulating the fallout.

“Please… just… you can’t give up now.” Ranma rushed standing shoulder to shoulder with Mousse, “I need you to be there for her man, come on, let’s go get something to eat and we’ll talk about this.”

Mousse turned to Ranma and put his hands on his shoulders looking into his eyes, “Ranma… you think you can fix everything. You think you can make this all end with no one getting hurt… and that’s what’s going to hurt everyone most of all.”

********************

Mousse walked through the doors of the Neko Hanten just as the dinner rush was starting. Shampoo stopped mid-sentence with a customer and hurried over to Mousse. “What you find out?” She asked after a quick glance over to Cologne.

“I need money for new glasses.” Mousse said simply with a smile, “It’s about to get serious and I can’t afford to make any mistakes.”

“What you need Shampoo do?” She asked moving closer.

“Nothing, you just need to stay here… out of sight.”

“No can do, I need see Ranma.” She finished firmly looking into Mousse’s eyes.

“Shampoo, you have to listen to me. What Ranma needs right now is time away from you. If you show up now you’re only going to drive him away even further.”

“What you know? You just bus boy from China.” She sneered, turning away slightly.

Mousse let out a deep breath to clear his mind, “You want Ranma right? You want to marry him?”

“Yes.” Shampoo agreed shortly.

“To have his children and be with him. Strong children. That’s what you want right?” Mousse’s tone building, his words coming faster.

“Yes stupid Mousse!” She yelled at him, her frustration boiling over.

“Then you will listen to me. You came to me because you were desperate and needed help.” He dared put his hands on her shoulders. She gave a slight flinch but it forced her to look him in the face, “But you know that part of reason was that you realized you were too close to the problem to see the solution. You believed I could help, now have faith in me… have faith in me because I care for you… because we grew up together… because for me just as for you this is my one chance at happiness and because out of all the times you’ve ever put your faith in me- I’ve never once let you down.” He finished sullenly dropping his arms to his sides.

“You right…” She sighed turning away, “I- I get money for glasses. You just need tell Shampoo what do and I do it.”

Mousse nodded lost in thought for a moment, before looking around at the blurry people filling the restaurant “I just need to go up to my room for a minute and I'll be back for my shift.” Shampoo nodded and he started walking up the stairs toward his bedroom through the kitchen.

He stopped suddenly, a cane thrust out just centimeters from his chest, “Here.” Cologne offered holding out a handful of bills. “I hate sinking more money into a lost cause…” She started looking out at her granddaughter, her voice growing wistful, “But I hope you can prove me wrong for her sake boy.”

Mousse took the money and looked at it quizzically before looking back to Cologne. “For your glasses you idiot.” She grumbled pogoing off to the dining room and leaving Mousse in shock.

At the top of the steps he struggled to count the bills before shoving them into a hidden pocket. He paused a moment, looking at the door to Shampoo's room. Truth be told he had a hard time understanding what was going on in her head. She was sensible enough to come to him for help, but it was hard to imagine her being that desperate while having that kind of a level head when it came to Ranma. He reached forward and opened the door to Shampoo's room, she and the Ghoul would be busy enough that he'd have a moment. There was a nagging feeling that there was something there he wasn't seeing.

Her room was the same as he remembered it from right after they'd moved in. It wasn't a place she lived, just a place that she could lay her head at night. As if she expected her mission to be over any day now instead of dragging out over the years. If everything really were the same... he thought to himself and reached under the mattress, giving a chuckle as he pulled out a tattered notebook. Just like when they were kids. Cologne had encouraged Shampoo from a young age to keep a journal, something that could be studied by future generations of Amazons after she'd earned glory.

Mousse sat down on the bed carefully, and turned on the night stand light, flipping through the pages. His hands trembled with nervous energy as he paged through the notebook. He moved quickly to the most recent entries and moved the book just a few inches in front of his face so he could get the words to focus. “Oh no...” He groaned as he filtered through the text, “Oh no...” He repeated again, he pinched the bridge of his nose to fight off the tears but there was no denying what the journal recorded, he adjusted his glasses again, not with the proof right in front of him.

********************

“Ranma… it’s not that easy, she doesn’t want me. She wants you.” Mousse stressed looking toward the martial artist with whom he shared a table.

“Of course she does man.” Ranma insisted again trying to force it on Mousse.

Mousse nearly laughed, thinking of all the times he was jealous of Ranma, there was nothing to be jealous about. Everything was so one sided. Mousse ate some more of his parfait. He was surprised when Ranma had invited him to an ice cream parlor of all places when he’d asked to talk and insisted he get the deluxe parfait. “No, you forget Ranma. There may be a language barrier between the two of you but her rejection to me was plain as day. There’s nothing there for me any more and I only hope you will calm her spirit.”

“Look, I know Shampoo. She’s probably at home right now plotting some way to get me back like always. But that's no reason for you to give up on her.” Ranma laughed to lighten the mood.

“You think you know Shampoo but you have no clue do you?” Mousse shook his head, “You’re so deluded Ranma. You think she’s so strong - and she can be, but she’s weak in the same ways you are too.” Mousse let out a sigh, “Six days now and she hasn’t left her bedroom. Six days of crying, I can hear her through the walls. When you had your wedding you should have just stabbed her in the heart and got it over with… a quick death. A warriors death. But instead you left her to bleed out…”

“She’s still that busted up? Nahhh, not Shampoo.” But the laugh he finished with wasn’t nearly convincing.

“Soon I will know if it is possible to die from sorrow alone and if it is… I might not pass far behind.” Mousse finished evenly, internally though he was flailing, he needed to get Ranma over there for Shampoo's sake without scaring Ranma off.

“Man… there’s nothing I can do.” Ranma tried weakly looking down at the table.

“You could at least stop by and see her.” Mousse offered, “Talk to her for once, honestly… tell her how you feel, but more importantly actually listen when she tells you how she feels. You owe her that much.”

“I don-“ The words died on his tongue from the look Mousse shot him. “I- I will.” He finished weakly going back to looking at the table.

Mousse broke the silence, “These are good parfaits.”

“I told you.” Ranma replied weakly.

That was it, he had him. Mousse even had a hard time swallowing the ice cream though from the knot in his throat. Things were about to get a lot worse for Shampoo before they got better.

********************

Ranma's plan started to come together even before Mousse had left. He waited a few hours before leaving the Tendo compound, walking through dark streets to the Neko Hanten. It didn’t add up. He always knew Shampoo had an infatuation with him beyond what she was obligated to by the laws of her tribe but he never through it was anything serious. She was just so… ditzy. Except for fighting he had a hard time taking anything he did seriously.

So for her to still be upset, broken down, crying. No, it didn’t fit her at all. He’d catch her off guard, up and about and working around the Neko Hanten. That would alleviate some of the weight he felt. As he approached though he was disappointed to find the lights out. It was a early in the night, he figured they would still be cleaning up and prepping for tomorrow. But instead he stood there at a loss. He didn’t have to wait long, in the distance he could hear something. Listening closer it was obvious it was Shampoo. And… Cologne.

Ranma ran around the back of the building, keeping low to the ground he crouched near the back door. The words rang clear. “Damn.” Ranma muttered realizing that Shampoo was yelling in Chinese.

“How many times must I tell you child, when you’re in another country you speak their language!” Cologne shouted over Shampoo who was still yelling at her in Chinese.

“I don’t care if it’s just between the two of us.” Cologne fumed as Shampoo continued on.

Ranma risked raising up just enough to peak in the window, struggling to quickly mask his aura. Cologne balanced in the center of the kitchen on her stick with a sheet of paper in her hand torn at the edges. Across from her Shampoo stood directly in front of the door. He couldn’t see her face but she sounded upset. Still, she was mad, not sad which helped ease Ranma’s mind.

“You need to give up on this!” Cologne shouted waving the sheet of paper. “You need to give up on Ranma and these sorts of things are not to be trifled with!” Cologne continued ignoring her granddaughter.

“No, no!” Cologne countered, Ranma hearing his own name and Akane’s several times amongst the least intelligible parts of Shampoo’s impassioned speech, “I don’t want to hear it.” Cologne exhaled sharply.

Shampoo sounded desperate now, her words coming faster before she began sobbing, Cologne’s words came cold as ice, “Then go ahead and kill yourself.” She snorted, “I’ll watch to make sure you can get that right.”

Shampoo doubled over crying before running from the kitchen up the stairs. Ranma quickly moved to the side, just peeking through the window with one eye as Cologne came in his direction. He was sure he was found out until she stopped and turned, looking at the paper in her hand, “I won't lose you like I lost your mother.” Cologne muttered tossing the paper in the trashcan before heading upstairs after her granddaughter.

Ranma sat against the door for a moment, he felt sick, his heart beating in his chest felt so imposing. Slowly he opened the back door of the Neko Hanten, careful not to make a noise. He crept in just a few steps and reached into the trash can, fishing out the paper that Cologne had just thrown away before retreating. Quickly he bound off, taking to the rooftops and looking over the paper, “Figures, it’s all in Chinese too.” As he ran he wondered about the contents of the paper, was it some plan to get back at him, at Akane? Something to help ruin their lives?

Meanwhile Mousse kept his distance, watching. His timing for dropping that page of Shampoo's journal at Cologne's feet had been perfect his heart ached though, she was hurting so badly and it was all his fault, but he knew – he knew in his heart that this was the only way.

********************

“Nabiki?” Ranma knocked again, still winded from the run.

“Come in.” She answered back. Ranma opened the door and stepped inside everything coming into sharp focus as he passed from the dark hallway into one of the best lit rooms in the house. “What can I help you with tonight Ranma-kun?”

Ranma let out a sigh, she could read him better than anyone. He moved forward and offered the paper to Nabiki, “I need this translated.”

“Chinese?” Nabiki asked to double check her own belief.

“Yeah.” Ranma nodded.

She smiled and held out her hand expectantly. Ranma closed his eyes and thought for a moment, counting out a few bills in his pocket and put them into Nabiki’s palm. She smiled and closed her hand around the cash, “That should do.”

Ranma fished out a few more bills, “Privately.” He added, he didn’t want to cause a panic if there was something about Shampoo’s next plot on the paper.

“Of course, I know a guy.” But despite her agreement Nabiki pocketed the money.

“And make it fast.” Ranma added after a few more seconds, resigning himself and giving over the last of the money in his pocket.

“You’re the boss.” Ranma nodded back and turned to leave. “Nice doing business with you!” She added from her spot on the bed as Ranma exited the bedroom. Nabiki looked down at the paper, running her finger over the torn edge, “Some kind of book?” She mussed looking over the hand-written words. She spoke passable Chinese but writing it was another matter entirely. Most of her studies focused on English and German. Eventually she shrugged her shoulders and put the paper on the nightstand before laying back and putting on some music.

********************

“I thought you were going to stop by?” Mousse asked, putting Ranma on the spot.

Ranma looked up at Mousse as he kept up stride for stride along the railing. “New glasses?” He asked, there was no other way he’d have been able to keep going the way he was without them.

“Yeah.” He answered a little proud, “But really, I thought you were going to stop by? I accidentally let it slip out that you were coming over… that kept her going for the beginning of the night but then she crashed hard after that.”

“Gomen.” Ranma apologized, “I totally forgot about it.” He lied remembering Shampoo’s outburst. She was plotting something, he just had to find out what it was.

“It’s just that…” Mousse trailed off as Nabiki came running up, her breath coming in little gasps as she covered the last few feet before slowing to a jog and stopping.

She was breathing heavily but evenly. “Whooo!” She let out with a smile, “Been awhile since I did that.” She laughed but Ranma didn’t share her smile. In return hers faded as well, “Anyway… here you go.” She handed over a manila envelope to Ranma with his name on it.

“You could have given this to me when I got home.” He mussed aloud.

“Hey, you wanted it rushed, so I rushed.” She finished with a smile, Ranma figured it must have been the endorphins.

“Did you take a look at it yet?” He asked quietly so Mousse wouldn’t hear.

“And you wanted the contents private as well.” She reminded him.

“Awww… yeah, thanks Nabiki.” He replied honestly, tucking the envelope under his arm.

“No problem, see you at dinner.” She finished as she rushed off again toward the school.

“What’s in the envelope?” Mousse mussed, jumping down off the fence.

“Nothing important.” Ranma covered quickly.

“You got Nabiki Tendo to run that envelope to you and there’s nothing important inside?” Mousse asked dead serious.

Ranma shrugged his shoulders and Mousse dropped the subject. “Anyway, I’ve got to get going… I’ll try to stop by later okay?” Ranma added quickly hoping to get rid of him.

“Okay, but I’m going to keep my mouth shut this time. I don’t want you hurting her any more than you already have.” Mousse added grimly, “She’s not doing well today, not at all.” And with that he bounded off, jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

********************

Ranma rushed into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and blockading himself inside. He opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. Inside he found the original paper but on each side was an overlay of semi-transparent paper covered with notes. A few words were broken out on the overlay and a date was circled with the note “Journal? Diary?” Next to it in the translator’s handwriting. Ranma looked over the note anew but there wasn’t anything else there. He looked at the other sheet included with the note, it was type written with the header “Translation of document Unknown Origin - Client: Nabiki Tendo.”

Beneath the header the tone changed immediately, the translation of the Chinese text.

[will not abate. My heart is fire encased in ice, choking me to death from the inside. This feeling washes over me. This unreal sensation that I no longer deserve to be a part of this world. That my reason for living has been a lie.

Worthless, it took me so long to realize he can’t love me because I am worthless, that he would rather me be dead than have to deal with my constant pestering. But he is too good a man to say that outright and it is only through his kindness that I can find that narrow bean of light he projects to stand in and give myself purpose. Still, as I find that beam shrinking my life is fading. Where has my strength gone? When did I surrender myself so completely to a man who values me no more than a wad of chewing gum under a movie theater seat?

-Diary… it hurts so much. I feel so scarred on the inside that I can only spend my days thinking up creative punishments for myself. I brought out the knife again last night to to make me forget. It felt so good, even the pain, just to feel something. Oh Gods, but I can’t hurt myself as much as I need to. I need to live if only to suffer for being such an abysmal failure, a failure to everyone.

-Diary… I dreamt again that Ranma was in love with me. How tempting these dreams have become. They blind me to the reality. Lead me on. Simultaneously giving me foolish hope and annihilating me from the inside. When I remember it now my heart leaps, sings in my chest of a time when I felt I still had hope. My skin gets goose bumps at the thought of his hands around me. His lips against mine. I can’t stop crying thinking about it. Oh Gods, what could I have done differently? Are these visions of what could have been or what could never be? I picture the two of us, entwined, naked, the feel of his]

Was this Shampoo? He thought to himself, the real Shampoo? He pictured her, broken Japanese, that same smile that held on her features around him like a stupid dog. No, he thought about it, only around him, only for him. He swallowed hard, eyes welling up, none of this could be right. He couldn’t have been so blinded to the real her. She had stayed in Japan, she had been a friend. Was a friend… is a friend. Ranma headed to the wash room, thankful that no one else was taking advantage of the facilities. Inside he closed the door, locking it before unceremoniously dousing himself with cold water.

Ranma watched herself cry in the mirror, felt herself overtaken with emotions. Wracked with the pain that she felt she had inflicted on Shampoo. She had seemed so tough, beyond pain, how could she have been so wrong? It was a front, the same as mine Ranma thought. And I fell for it.

The knock at the door brought Ranma back to reality, “Ranma, are you in there?”

Ranma took a sobbing breath before steadying herself, “Yeah.” She answered back weakly.

“Why is the door locked?” Ranma heard Akane try the handle, “Are you okay in there?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ranma pushed herself from the ground and rubbed her eyes looking into the mirror. “Hold on.”

“Just open the door, come on.” Akane insisted again trying the knob. “I heard crying, what’s wrong?”

Ranma sighed and opened the door. Standing there Akane reached up and moved her fingers to wipe away the tears from her fiancées eyes. “Ranma…” She said softly, “What happened?”

********************

“I thought this might happen.” Mousse said with a sigh looking at Shampoo.

“You knew that Akane would show up?” She asked back in perfect mandarin.

“I thought if they were really that close then he would go to her with this.” He nodded weakly. “I've been watching him everyday, he's still distant to her but I had the feeling that some of those walls might be broken down when they're alone together.” Mousse had spotted Akane the second she’d entered the restaurant and had managed to get Shampoo upstairs before Akane had noticed. “She wants to see you.” Mousse added, “That’s why she’s here.”

“Well, I don’t want to see her.”

“I told her that it would be a few minutes so she’s waiting down there, Cologne said she would bring her out a bowl of ramen to keep her occupied.”

“Just tell her to go, send her away.”

“Shampoo… you need to see her. She needs to see you.”

“Why?” Shampoo asked curtly.

Mousse was silent for a moment thinking, “I'm the one who passed that page of your journal to Cologne.”

Shampoo laughed bitterly, “Of course you were – there's no other way that could have happened.”

“That’s what you need to show Akane.”

“No.” Shampoo retorted incredulous, “I’m not some weakling.”
“That's the real you, and you're hurting…”

“And I need to punish you for sneaking into my room don't I?” She deflected, again, that cocky attitude, she was keeping him at bay, he had to break that down.

“Drop it okay!” Mousse raised his voice, “Don’t act like it was just some words on a sheet of paper. You’ve been quick to rebuild your defenses after the wedding but you can't hide what you've been doing to yourself.”

“What are you talking about? I just wrot-“

“Don’t you dare lie to me.” Mousse growled out but he could feel himself falling apart, “All I could do was picture you there, crying, broken…” Mousse rushed on the verge of tears, “You act so strong but that journal, that's really you in there… I found them.” Mousse added weakly after a pause.

“Them?” Shampoo croaked, afraid to ask.

“The rags you used to stop the blood.” Mousse said keeping his resolve strong.

“Mousse… I…”

“Show me.” He had been afraid to ask, so much so he could hardly believe he got the words out. He blinked back the tears as Shampoo lifted the side of her shirt to expose her flanks showing off a series of evenly spaced angry red crusty black gashes. Mousse swallowed hard, barely holding himself together. He shook his head, turning away, unable to watch any more, “How far along… until…” He tried to blot what he'd just seen from his mind, he didn’t want to know, “This is what you need to show Akane.” He said at last, “She needs to see this, see you the way you really are.”
“I can’t let her see me like this!” At last her tough exterior was cracking, tears in her eyes, her voice cracking.

“She needs to see… what this has done to you.” Mousse let out a shaky breath, “I’m going to go get her and send her up. If you ever want to have a chance at Ranma you need her to understand that you’re fragile just like the rest of us. Drop the high and mighty attitude, this is your chance, if you hold back it’s over.” Mousse turned to walk out with such finality that Shampoo suddenly found it hard to breath.

Shampoo dropped down onto her bed, she was shaking, shivering. She felt the tears come on, falling down her face. She took another deep breath, shaking, she just had to let go. There was no need to pretend. She laid back on the bed, lit only by the lap on her nightstand. It was getting dark outside, hard to see inside the room. She ran her fingers, cold, over the cuts on her body. The sensation against the burning of the budding infections causing her to shiver. From under her breasts to her hips she was marked by regular deep cuts as well as from the inside of her thighs to her knees.

It was Amazon tradition for a disgraced wife. Each time they thought of their previous husband they were to cut themselves, remind themselves of the pain, until they only associated the memories with agony, until they forgot. But she… she couldn’t forget and each moment, each day was filled with memories of her love and what she had lost. There was a progression to be followed, the cuts were ritualistic… with a predetermined end. Shampoo was rapidly approaching that ending, something that had seemed so far away when she’d started her mutilation but was now looming so close at hand. She wouldn’t run, or stop what she was doing. She was an Amazon, and she had her pride but if she could drop that pride if only for a moment. To fulfill her dreams and reach her goal, then she would do it.

Akane was going to walk through that door she thought to herself. To put herself on display for her rival, so vulnerable. She couldn’t stop the shivering now. So very weak, she looked down at her body, she hadn’t eaten since before the wedding and her ribs were showing through, she’d lost a cup size on her bra. No, she didn’t have to pretend any more. For Ranma... She had to lean against the pillows as her strength started to give out – as she finally stopped pushing herself. Again she swallowed, her throat dry, her tears dripping from her chin onto her naked chest.

“Shampoo?” Akane called knocking on the door.

“Come in.” Shampoo said after a moment of hesitation.

“Shampoo, I just…” Akane stood there in the doorway, mouth agape.

“Please close door.” Shampoo managed out haltingly. “Shampoo want no one see her like this.” She sobbed causing her wounds to hurt.

“Oh god.” Akane mumbled stepping into the darkness. “What happened to you Shampoo?”

“Shampoo lose Ranma…” And with that the feelings of worthlessness that she had only previously put down on paper overwhelmed her and she laid her emotions bare for her rival and herself to see.

********************

Ranma looked up from the television as Akane walked into the living room. “Soooo….” He prodded, before she had left Akane had told him how he must be overreacting. Girls write all sorts of things in their diaries in the heat of the moment. But they get over it, she insisted that Shampoo would be fine - those words had eased Ranma’s worries. That optimism that he had been feeling all night though crumbled around him as Akane gave him a blank look.

“She loves you.” Akane said simply, the words pulled out from beneath her, “She loves you just as much as I-- I don’t know what to do.” Akane shook her head, eyes full of sadness, and continued walking off to her bedroom as Ranma collapsed to the floor.

********************

Mousse waited anxiously atop the guardrail over the bridge. He glanced down into the flowing water illuminated by the street lamps. The wind blew cold causing Mousse to shiver, missing his robes. The end game was at hand. In the distance thunder shook window panes and the wind gusted abruptly causing Mousse to adjust his balance ever so slightly. If this didn't work then what would he do? Years ago he'd have willingly thrown himself into the same abyss with Shampoo but lately, could he continue on without her?

“There you are.” Ranma greeted walking out of the darkness into the pool of light from above.

Mousse smiled, “You’re the one that called me.”

Ranma nodded, “Yeah, we need to talk.”

“I don’t know what Akane said to Shampoo but she seems to be in a better mood now.” Mousse lied, she was completely tore up inside, once her soul was bared it was impossible to cover again so readily.

“She didn't tell me much either.” Ranma admitted in the dark.

“Oh, we- woah!” Mousse dropped down from the railing as a savage gust of wind took him by surprise. “Jeeze, windy.” He tried to compose himself, “You want to go somewhere else?”

“This will just be a minute.” Ranma answered, “I just- I don’t know what to do with Shampoo.” He admitted stepping closer to Mousse, “I need to know what you think.” Ranma said at last.

Mousse straightened up, feeling an errant drop of water on his face. The wind gusted again, a few more drops of rain spattering against the two. “I think that you need to see her, talk to her yourself, honestly and-“ Instantly the two were engulfed in a torrential downpour. “Quack.” Mousse tried vainly looking at the redhead in front of him.

Ranma braced herself as another gust of wind assaulted the two of them, little bits of hail mixed with the precipitation, chilling her to the bone. “Come on.” Ranma grabbed Mousse up who was fighting not to be taken away by the wind. She leapt off the side of the bridge and onto the ground following alongside the drainage ditch and moved under the bridge up in the framework. For the moment they were protected from the rain but Ranma kept Mousse held close.

The two of them sat there in silence, feeling the chill in their bodies and listening to the rain assault the ground all around and above them. Mousse felt Ranma shivering and risked nuzzling against her, it seemed to calm her as she became more still after a few moments. “Heh.” Ranma laughed, “Well, this sucks.” She bobbed back and fourth slightly on the girder, “Figures doesn’t it with the way things have been going lately.”

Ranma laughed again, this time fading into a sob, “Figures I’d turn into a damn girl at a time like this, fucking crying all the time girl.” She cried again and Mousse felt her arms around him tighten, though not uncomfortably. “You know what the truth is?” Ranma said at last, “I do love Shampoo.”

Mousse’s eyes went wide, “Quack, quack?” He replied unsuccessfully, trying to keep his elation inside.

“But… I also love Akane… and Ukyo… I love them all.” Ranma sobbed, “I guess I’m just as much of a womanizer as everyone says I am.”

Again, silence. Mousse wondered how long the rain would last as his breathing fell into time with Ranma’s. “I just… if I could only choose one it would be Akane.” Ranma allowed himself a smile, “Ukyo...” Ranma smirked, “I called her cute you know.” Then shook her head, “But it wasn’t serious, I knew she could take the rejection… she’s strong… like I thought Shampoo…” Ranma trailed off, it didn’t stop it from hurting.

“When it came down to it,” Ranma started, pulling it together, “when I had to pick someone I picked who I thought loved me the most, who needed me the most, and it seemed so obvious…” Ranma trailed off, losing what little control she’d gathered and holding Mousse tightly against her chest. “Damn it… I didn’t want to hurt her like this I,” Mousse held his breath, hanging on Ranma’s words, “I love her…”

Mousse held very still against Ranma, listening to her heart beat. He should have felt elated, he was so close, but seeing Ranma so distraught. The contempt that he had initially felt for Ranma had faded so quickly over the last week and a half. Shadowing her, seeing how isolated Ranma was. At first Mousse had felt sorry for Ranma but slowly he began to see his own reflection in the red head, they were both so alone. “Quack…” Mousse tried to comfort Ranma softly.

“It’s okay man, we’ll work something out.” Ranma said, a bit of her confidence returning. Mousse relaxed, feeling Ranma stroke his head until between the sound of rain and wind and the feel of her hand on him he fell into slumber.

********************

Ranma opened the window silently, slowly. The rain had finally tapered off but Ranma hadn't had a chance to find a kettle – doing this sort of thing came easier as a girl anyway. Carefully she let herself inside, gently placing Mousse onto the pillow of his bed. She opened the door and walked down the hallway, below Ranma heard Cologne working in the kitchen, cleaning up for the night. That was for the best, she needed to talk to Shampoo alone. All of the madness swirling in her head, all of the thoughts, the second guesses, everything that had been happening lately with her relationship with Shampoo and she hadn’t even seen her face to face since the wedding debacle.

Experimentally Ranma gave two light raps on Shampoo’s door. There was no response, so she tried again a little harder and waited, hearing footsteps on the other side as the reward. She heard Shampoo stop just on the other side of the door; the words came through the door in flowing mandarin.

“It’s me, Ranma.” She answered back. Even through the door she could feel her hesitation, “Please… let me in.”

Ranma could feel her pulse in her head as she waited before finally she heard the door open. Ranma made her way through the door, closing it behind her. “Ranma come?” Shampoo asked weakly.

Ranma looked her up and down, she had a sheet wrapped around her body but nothing beneath it, Ranma could tell from the vague outline projected through from behind. But whatever trepidation she may have felt was nullified by her voice, so tired, hurt. “Yeah, I wanted to check up on you.”
“You come hurt Shampoo?” Shampoo answered back, choking up, moving back toward the bed she sat down but had to fall to her side. The way she was moving unnerved Ranma, she was hurt – physically hurt...

“I never meant to hurt you, but I had to choose.” Ranma continued, feeling her emotion in the corner of her eyes.

“You had choose, I know.” Shampoo tried to force a smile, “You just not choose Shampoo.”

Ranma watched Shampoo lay there, breathing shallow, tinted yellow by the nightstand light, but as she looked carefully she could see the stains on the sheet, faintly at first but growing darker. “What happened?” She asked, moving closer and pointing at the growing spot of sanguine.

“Is nothing.” Shampoo insisted.

“Shampoo, show me.” Ranma reached for the sheet but Shampoo pulled away.

“Ranma really want see?”

“Yeah, I want to see.” She came back, feeling a bit of the warm fire of Shampoo’s emotions coming to the surface.

“You want see? I show you.” Shampoo nodded grimly, pulling her sheet aside, exposing her body. She was naked, but - Shampoo closed her eyes, ashamed of herself, her weakness.

Ranma looked to her nightstand, the knife was still there. Her flanks were covered in deep gashes, some new, still bleeding freely. Her breasts were likewise mutilated, thin, anorexic, her legs… “Shampoo!” Ranma cried out, turning her head away from her friend.

“Now you see.” Shampoo said solemnly.

“Why?” Ranma asked shakily.

“In Amazon is great disgrace. Women must get over husband running off very quickly or be shamed forever. To get over you or die, those my options.” Shampoo reached down and traced her finger over the fresh wound, blood collecting on her fingertip. Shampoo reached for the knife on the tabletop thinking that now might be the prefect time to end it but Ranma was there in a flash, holding her wrist in a vice grip. Shampoo was too weak to fight back.

“Shampoo stop, I don’t want you hurt anymore.” Ranma said sadly looking into her sunken eyes.

“Please leave and no more worry about Shampoo.” She pulled anew to free her hand but Ranma held fast.

“No, we’re going to fix this.” Ranma gave her a determined look, “Right now!” Ranma sobbed, pushing her arms under Shampoo and picking the naked girl up off the bed.

Shampoo struggled, kicking her legs, “Let go, let Shampoo go!” She tried to worm her way out of Ranma’s arms but Ranma held tight, Ranma ignored her, just as Cologne must have been ignoring what was happening. Jumping on the bed Ranma kicked open the window and dropped down into the alleyway behind the Neko Hanten, running off toward a solution.

********************

“Why didn’t you take her to Dr. Tofu?” Akane asked, holding open the window with one hand while Ranma slowly came in holding Shampoo in her arms. Along the way she had screamed herself to exhaustion and passed out against Ranma’s chest.

“Why didn’t YOU take her to Dr. Tofu?” Ranma retorted back coldly before pulling herself back together, “I mean, it’s not her body I’m worried about, these will heal.” Ranma explained as she laid Shampoo out on Akane’s bed, pointing at her cuts, “We have to talk first.”

“I don’t know Ranma… God, she looks worse than she did earlier.” Indeed in the full light she was a wreck and Akane looked down with pity, “I can’t stand to see her like this.”

Ranma closed her eyes and set down next to the bed, taking Shampoo’s hand in hers. “Neither can I… so what are we going to do?” Her misty eyes turned to Akane, “I need a little help here.” She sobbed into a laugh.

“What should I do Akane?” Ranma asked catching her eye. “What do you want me to do?”

Akane bit her lip, looking over Shampoo’s naked, abused, body, “You need to tell her.”

“Tell her what?” Ranma asked serious.

“Tell her how you feel.” Akane shook her head, looking away.

“I already told her though… I can't string her along.” Ranma swallowed hard, “I chose you.” She finished solemnly.

“I know.” Akane nodded, “But right now… we need to worry about her. You need to make her understand. We can both let her know it's going to be allright.” Akane moved to her dresser and pulled out one of her sleeping shirts, “Here, help me get this on her.”

Ranma helped lift Shampoo up and Akane straightened out her arms, pulling the shirt over her head. Together they set her up on the pillow and pulled the covers over her naked legs, while they were doing this though Shampoo started to stir.

“Shampoo?” Ranma asked, lightly shaking the Amazon.

Shampoo shook her head, coming to slowly, “Stupid diary… stupid Mousse.” She cried, why had she gotten that blind idiot involved, if not for him she might have died in peace. Now that she knew the truth – her love was real and with that realization she knew she only wanted Ranma to be happy and if that didn’t involve her then… “How I get here?” She asked weakly not remembering the journey.

“I bought you here.” Ranma said, taking hold of her hand, “We needed to talk, all of us.” It was only then that Shampoo noticed Akane in the room. The two of them were so sad…

“I go now.” Shampoo started to push out of bed but Ranma grabbed her hand and held fast. She looked down at Ranma crouched next to her. Shampoo struggled to push he emotions down, knowing that if she appeared strong Ranma might let her leave.

Akane brought her lips together tightly trying to hold back sadness, “Why do you have to hold on so tightly, why can’t you let go?” Akane set down at the foot of her bed.

Shampoo shook her head, and stopped her feeble struggling, “You love something, you hold on… no matter what.”

“You’re not going anywhere until we sort this thing out.” Ranma said firmly locking eyes with the Amazon.

Shampoo looked to Akane, then Ranma, “What there to sort out? Ranma you marry Akane. You no love Shampoo.” She forced a smile, “Is over.” Again she tried to stand and again Ranma pulled her to the bed.

“No, not like this, it’s not going to end like this.” Ranma looked to Shampoo, then to Akane offering an apologetic look, “I- I…” She trailed off clenching her eyes tightly.

Akane spoke up, “Just tell her…” She offered quietly.

Ranma nodded and Shampoo couldn’t take her eyes off her, “I love…” Akane’s eyes went wide, “I love you Shampoo.” Ranma looked toward her fiancee, Akane’s mouth hanging open, “And I love you too Akane.” Ranma bit her lip, “and I couldn’t stand for anything to happen to either of you.” Ranma turned her gaze downward looking at the grain of the wooden floor, afraid to look up, to her side, or even draw a breath she waited for the impact.

“You-“

“Ranma-“

“-love Shampoo?” They both asked as one.

Ranma flinched waiting for the impact and looked between the two women, neither one believing what she had just said, both starring blankly as they took in the information, processed it. “That’s why I can’t let anything happen to her.” She finished watching Akane.

“But-“ Akane spoke up feeling her resolve, “You can’t, what if this is all a trick.” Akane shot Shampoo a look causing Shampoo to again pull sharply at her hand to free it from Ranma’s grasp. The sympathy she had felt earlier left her, she hadn’t thought it was love between the two of them, just caring, just a… just a friend.

“A trick?” Ranma asked venomously, “She did this to herself.” Ranma looked at Shampoo, “Just sit still and talk to me for once.” Ranma commanded trying to bring Shampoo back into the conversation. Ranma pointed with her free hand to the cuts on Shampoo's sides, “You said it yourself when you came back earlier…” Ranma croaked out, “She loves me…” Again downcast Ranma chanced a look at Akane, just as crestfallen now as she was.

“But… I love you too.” Akane admitted at last, her voice weak.

“Ranma, you love Shampoo too?” Shampoo asked, tearing up again, wanting so much to move in for a hug, some sort of comfort.

“I do, but… I can’t marry you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m going to marry Akane… I love Akane.” Ranma added the last part after a pause. Ranma looked over at Akane, she was petting the Amazon’s leg watching her closely.

Shampoo started to breath heavily, her eyes wide “Is too sad.” She choked out, “Is all much too sad for Sham – for me.” She couldn't stop the ugly crying. “Is much worse than death what you do to me.”

There was a bang as the window to the room was slid open, “Shampoo!” Mouse called out perched at the edge of the window, “I found you.” He looked between the three people in the room and Ranma could see the anger and sadness barely concealed there - “Come on, let me get you home.”

“I-” Ranma tried to articulate something but failed.

Shampoo sniffed and rubbed her eyes looking between Ranma and Akane, “Yes, I go now.” She said lifting herself unsteadily to her feet.

Ranma sat motionless as she watched Shampoo stumble to the window, those thin legs, the way she was guarding her sides, Ranma flinched inwardly at the smile, so hollow as Mousse picked her up, light as a feather, and jumped off with her into the darkness.

*********************

“This is gonna be rough” Ranma said again, walking hand in hand with Akane.

Akane squeezed back, it had been rough, a long night for the both of them but the warmth of the sun was cutting through the cold of the fall morning. This was the man she loved, the man who believed nothing was impossible. A distant part of her mind wanted to fight, to pull away, to run and not have to deal with the situation but she was resolute – she was going to see this through. Something had changed between the two of them since the wedding, now she knew she could trust Ranma.

The two of them continued the walk in silence and Akane took the opportunity to enjoy his company. Walking the streets of Nerima early in the morning, before the throngs of people got to their day. Just the two of them, together. Was this the last gasp of the chaos that had been surrounding their own lives for the last several years? Shampoo, Ukyo, Ryoga, Kuno... would she look back on this fondly – she was having a hard time picturing a simple life but that's always what she'd thought she wanted.

Before she knew it, the two of them were standing at the doors to the Neko Hanten. The shop was not yet open for the day. “Ranma I... I love you.” Akane finished with a smile. “I know sometimes I don't say it enough, I know-”

Ranma pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “You don't have to say it, I know.”

Akane gave a light chuckle and pressed into his shirt, wondering if she should take it as him being full of himself, instead she allowed herself to melt into the hug, nuzzling her face into his shirt and taking in his scent. Slowly Akane brought her own hands around Ranma's back and pulled herself fully into the hug and she felt the tension that filled her mind disappear. Eventually, the two of them pulled apart, it took a moment for Akane to again adjust to the world around her. The light, the sounds had all become muted in his arms.

Ranma knocked on the door, “Shampoo! Mousse!” The door opened suddenly “Ghoul...” He trailed off face to face with the matriarch of the family.

“Ex-son in law” she said in a strained voice. She looked between Ranma and Akane, “You two need to leave.”

“We're here to see Shampoo.” Ranma continued as Akane looked around the restaurant. It was different than the last time she'd been there. All the tables and chairs were stacked in the corner. Near the door was a stack of boxes, Mousse and Shampoo were nowhere in sight.

“This isn't your business anymore.” Cologne sighed, “It is done – Shampoo does not want to see you ever again.”

“What's done? Nothing's done.” Ranma said incredulously, “Look, we just want to see Shampoo.”

“And I'm telling you no – you cannot and will not see my Great Granddaughter.” Cologne said firmly. “Right now she needs time to adjust.” Cologne added more softly after a moment.

“Please -” Akane started, “Just tell us if she's alright.”

“She is feeling better.” Cologne said carefully.

The three of them looked between each other in silence for a moment, Akane gave a slight tug on Ranma's arm, “Come on.” She said softly.

Ranma gave Cologne a hard stare, “You sure she's feeling better?”

“She's my Great Granddaughter – you should know better than anyone that I would do anything for her – she will get better but ONLY if you leave.”

Ranma stood there for a moment torn, remembering how much he'd hurt the Amazon, “Okay, but we'll be back later to check on her.”

Cologne nodded and slid the door closed just as quickly as it had opened. The two of them stood there in front of the door for a few moments, listening, Ranma and Akane straining to catch a voice or a sound from within the restaurant but there was nothing.

“Come on, let's go.” Akane suggested and the two of them started walking off the porch. Just as the two of them were rounding the corner though a flutter of motion caught Akane's eye, “Mousse?”

Mousse landed in a crouch before coming to his feet. “Ranma, Akane.” He nodded to each of them, “You need to come with me.”

Ranma and Akane looked at one another and nodded together before leaping to the rooftop. Akane celebrating internally at having been able to stick the landing on the jump, she'd never been as adept at the high jump as Ranma and his friends. The three of them made their way to the second floor of the restaurant and in through the window. Mousse putting his finger to his lips and shushing them before heading in through the open window. Mousse wordlessly nodded and pointed to Shampoo's room while pointing down the stairs. Ranma nodded and the two of them went to her door as Mousse headed down the stairs noisily.

“I'm out of boxes up here, do you need me...” Mousse's voice trailed off as he went down the stairs and Ranma and Akane entered into the Amazon's room. She was there, sitting at her desk quietly humming to herself. This – this was what he was hoping to see thought Ranma. The two of them took a few steps closer, she was coloring, a sunset, mountains, it was a little on the crude side but then again she was using crayons.

“Shampoo?” Ranma said lightly afraid to break the spell.

Shampoo turned quickly, her purple hair bobbing, “Ni hao.” She said cheerfully looking between Ranma and Akane.

Ranma felt his heart go into this throat and felt Akane tighten her grip. “Shampoo – you – you seem to be feeling a little better.” Akane ventured first, afraid to bring up the events of the previous night.

The smile never left the Amazon's face but the two of them were left dumbstruck by the string of Chinese the Amazon bubbled on with.

“He, ya – remember we don't speak Chinese.” Ranma tried with a laugh but the Amazon continued undaunted grabbing her drawing and showing it to the two of them and continuing in her native language.

“Shampoo...” Akane tried again, “We don't understand.”

“And she doesn't understand you either.” Cologne grumbled having silently made her way into the room.

“What did you do to her?” Ranma said coldly, realization coming at last.

Cologne said something in Chinese and Shampoo gave her usual bubbly response and went back to coloring on a new sheet of paper.

“This is really the best for you Ex-son in law. The Xai Fang Hen Gao Shiatsu Technique – do you remember it?” Cologne asked simply.

Ranma signed, “The forget me shampoo?”

“Exactly.” Cologne said simply balancing on her stick. Her silver hair glowing in the sun streaming through the window.

“So she doesn't remember us?” Akane asked, thinking back to when the Amazon had done the same thing to her.

“You, Ranma, Japan.” Cologne sighed heavily, “The last five years gone... but it took several applications and I ended up having to go so much deeper. Thankfully she was too weak to fight me.”

The two stood there in stunned silence broken only as the Amazon began humming her happy tune again. “She's like a little kid now.” Akane realized looking at he crayon drawings.

“Yes.” Cologne said coldly and Akane flinched slightly as Ranma tightened his grip painfully.”But this was the only way to save Shampoo. I never realized that she had started the cuts of forgetfulness. But I will not stand idly by and lose my Great Granddaughter the same way I lost my Daughter.” Cologne settled her eyes on Ranma's fiery expression, “Her memories will eventually come back, but at a pace that she can deal with them. We're going back to China, to start over and you will never have to deal with us again.”

The fire started to go out of his eyes as Cologne continued, “It's a rare thing for a man to divorce himself from his Amazon bride – you are very lucky ex-Son in law that she loved you - because without that love, it's you who would have been turned into a mindless puppet.”

“There's got to be another way.” Akane rushed out at last.

“I will not sit here and watch her die.” Cologne said with steely resolve. “We are going back to China and I am getting her out of this hell.”

“Akane-” Ranma started, his eyes locked with Cologne, “get Shampoo out of here.” The hairs on Akane's neck began to stand up as Ranma's ki started to come into her senses, tiny bits of dust and stones started to swirl off the hardwood floor.

Akane stepped over to the desk, “Shampoo?” She put her hand on her shoulder but Shampoo pulled away and started talking in Chinese again. “Shampoo?”

Things happened in blink-think time. Ranma grabbed a vase with a flower in it and threw it through the air at the Amazon. “Run!” He yelled rushing forward to meet with Cologne. Trying to ignore the cat sounds he was only peripherally aware that Akane had made it out the window.

“No!” Cologne yelled as Ranma collided with her.

“Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken” He called out, knocking her back off her stick. There was movement further down, feet flying up the stairs and Mousse was there in that instant holding his head.

Ranma didn't have time to register the hit, just that he struck the far wall of the bedroom. “You cannot put Shampoo through this!” Cologne yelled, furious, her own red aura momentarily filling the room and snuffing out Ranma's. In an instant she was out the window leaving Mousse and Ranma behind. They followed without hesitation – their mistake was immediately obvious. The ki blast came from above, the field so wide they couldn't dodge, not that they could dodge in the air anyway. It hit with the force of a city bus, driving the two down and into the street surface causing them to blackout.

“These foolish kids” Cologne muttered before glancing around, “Where could she have gone?”

*********************

Akane sat in a small clearing between some trees and bushes out of sight. “What are we supposed to do now?” She asked for her own benefit. Shampoo hadn't put up a fight after the transformation and now that they were settled the human-turned-cat was idly laying on her leg grooming herself. Akane though was having a hard time calming down, seconds after she'd gone out of the sight of the Neko Hanten she'd felt an enormous energy and a blast of heat that had traveled through the street like a tsunami. She got a feeling that the fight was already over. If so, she had to hold on till Ranma came to or got free.

On instinct she found herself running her hand through Shampoo's fur causing her to purr slightly. Akane looked down and realized she was licking the cuts over her sides. The fur there was all matted together with blood. She felt the tingle of tears in the corner of her eyes as she probed Shampoo's fur gently, trying not to let her realize what she was doing. Her fur really was wrecked, missing in places. “I'm so sorry.” She offered, her voice cracking.

Akane let a little smile come to her lips though as she ran her hand through Shampoo's fur, “You really are cute like this, if Ranma was a cat lover there's no way you wouldn't have come out on top.” She offered trying to get some levity. “I can't really transform you back though can I?” It was a strange thought, Shampoo could hear everything that Akane was saying but couldn't understand her. She was in there somewhere though, she only remembered bits and pieces for her own brush with the technique but she hoped that there was still something there. Maybe that's why she hasn't bolted yet Akane reasoned.

There was a sound nearby, the sound of someone moving quickly high on the roof tops. That clatter of roofing tiles – was it Ranma?

“Shampoo!” Cologne yelled and continued yelling in Chinese.

Akane barely managed to grab the cat before it jumped away. In turn Shampoo began to squirm and mew. “Just be quiet Shampoo.” Akane tried to say in an urgent hushed voice. “Ranma's going to be here soon...”

The words died in her throat as Cologne manifested next to Akane.

“Hand her over.” Cologne deadpanned looking down at the two of them from atop her perch.

There was a rustle above as the canopy was broken by Ranma and Mousse together. “We're not handing her over to you.” Ranma growled as he rose to his full height. Then looked away form Akane startled as he just barely glimpsed the cat.

“What on earth are you fighting for Ranma.” She groaned, “This is what you want, this is the choice you've made!” For once the matriarch seemed frazzled.

“You can't go taking someone's memories like that.”

“They were killing her – you're killing her.” Cologne tightened her grip on her staff, “Can't you see that once we leave it will be like it never happened. My Great Granddaughter is strong – she will get through this given time but that does not involve you ex-son in law.”

“But Shampoo isn't Shampoo right now.” Ranma said harshly, “She's just a little kid now, you've taken everything that made her who she was.” He put all of his focus on Cologne, doing his best to ignore Shampoo's condition.

“I couldn't bring back her memory now even if I wanted to, it would be too cruel, who would ever want such a thing.” She fixed Ranma with a steely gaze and gestured to the four teens gathered around her, “You would make her suffer and die on principle?” Cologne shook her head, you know if I put her back in the state she was before she's as good as dead – is your ego so large that-”

“I'll marry her!” Ranma yelled out before covering his own mouth. Akane and Mousse looked on in shock. Akane's heart was racing, she felt like she wasn't even in her body anymore until she felt something gentle on her hand as Shampoo started licking her fingers.

“You, what-” Cologne re-adjusted herself on her cane. “It will do no good to lie to me boy, I will not risk her life based on your whims – willing to do anything to win, but how long would it last boy? A week, a month and you'd leave her considering your debt settled and she'd be worse off than before.”

“Her, and Akane – I love them both.” He nodded firmly as if to convince himself.

Akane felt that familiar rage burning inside her heart but as she stroked Shampoo along her back she felt it fade away just as quickly, this was Ranma – the man she loved, the man that would do anything to save everyone around him – that is who Ranma was. “Ranma.” She muttered softly, her heart and body feeling so weak and light.

“What do you say old Ghoul?” Ranma chided, “I'll devote myself to them both, Akane and Shampoo – or don't you think I'm man enough.” He thumped his chest causing Mousse to chuckle himself.

Cologne looked from Ranma to Akane who now had the faintest smile and to Mousse who looked hopeful. “Kids these days.” She sighed.

“This will not be easy to explain to the council but I've seen similar situations. But you would have to be willing to spend half of each year in China to make this work, can you do that? This is a commitment boy, to the tribe, to Shampoo, to Akane...”

Ranma swallowed hard, looking at Akane, taken off guard by the demand but the dread that's she'd been feeling had been supplanted entirely, “Yes.” Akane said in his stead, “He will agree to those terms.”

Several Months Later

Shampoo stood still amidst the swirling crowd of people. It was early in the day but the airport was already getting busy. She held her hands together tightly in front of her breasts, her heart racing faster than she could ever recall. Almost like it was going to trip over itself. This was the day, Ranma was coming.

She tried to steady herself but she'd never felt so anxious in all of her life. Ranma, she'd gone through so much to be here, in this place, right now – waiting for the man of her dreams. She thought back over the last couple months in China, living with Mousse. It had been awkward at first but after she gave him a chance it had been hard not to find some things to love in him. She remembered the night when he had finally broken through to her. One of her early black days when she was sure that Ranma would never follow through and come to China. A night she felt the need to again pick up the knife and start her ritual anew. That night Mousse had climbed into bed next to her and he just held her. Then slowly, probably afraid she was going to dislocate his wrist, he started to stroke her hair just above her temple - “It's going to be okay... it's going to be okay.” He continued making gentle shushing sounds, “Ranma loves you, I love you, we both love you and it's going to be okay.” He continued on for hours, “Ranma will be here for you, he would never let you down, and I won't either.”

It had been faint, but it was real – love. Not pity, not just general concern for an old friend, not any of those mixed up emotions that she'd felt before. The warmth of him beside her finally pushed away the rest of her darkness and it had been at bay ever since. Still, she felt so vulnerable standing there alone. She'd stand there all day if she had to, she would not move from her spot. Ranma is coming she told herself, and he loves me.

Finally, far off the in the crowd she saw it, a familiar black pigtail - and all the darkness rushed away, “Nihao!” Shampoo called across the crowd.

“Shampoo!” Ranma called back, the two came together in a rush.

“I had doubts this day would come.” Shampoo wiped the tears from he eyes when they reached each other. Greedily she reached for his hand and threaded her fingers with his.

“I made a promise, didn't I?” Ranma laughed back.

“Ah-hem.” Akane coughed into her hand, interrupting the two of them. Shampoo looked startled, having missed the fact that Akane was in tow.

“Akane, I is so sorry.” Shampoo tried to recover.

Akane dropped the firm expression and smiled softly, “I'm so glad you're okay.” She couldn't help herself, seeing the change in the Amazon from the last time, the way she'd acted when she first got her memories back, crying in the corner – it had taken days before she the two of them had been able to get through to her.

Shampoo managed a smile of her own and crossed the distance between the two of them before taking Akane into a hug. The warmth and safety there, it reminded Akane of that day just stroking Shampoo's fur with her in her lap. It reminded her of when Ranma's Neko Ken went out of control and she felt that same stress. Maybe she was a cat person at heart.

“Thank you.” Shampoo said softly in her ear, just loud enough for Akane to hear, “I promise he'll come back to you loving you more than ever.”

Ranma looked between the two of them as Shampoo pulled away from the hug. “You know there room in China if you would like to come with?” Shampoo offered.

Akane waved her hands in front of her face, “Maybe next time.” She laughed nervously. Akane bowed her head deeply, “You take good care of him Shampoo, per our arrangement he will be returned to Japan in 6 months.”

“I love you.” Ranma called out realizing that Akane was turning to leave.

“I love you too.” She gave a smile over he shoulder before wandering into the crowd.

Ranma looked over at Shampoo slightly embarrassed, “What was it you said to her anyway.”

“I tell her that absence makes the heart grow fonder – you will return loving her more than ever.” Shampoo said simply, feeling the courage to look again at his face. It was hard, the worry that she might see some sort of misdirection there or insincerity but that's not what she saw at all.

“You know what, I think that's true.” He mussed, his eyes meeting Shampoo's.

“Yes, I know it true.” She nodded.

Ranma nodded back, “Yeah.” He laughed embarrassed, putting his hand behind his head, “That's for sure, because I don't think I've ever felt like kiss'in and hug'in you like this before.”

The words had barely left his month when Shampoo glomped onto him, effortlessly he carried her weight as she latched around his mid-section. She looked up at him, and he felt himself falling into those ruby eyes. Without a word they kissed with each pouring in their passion. Ranma was vaguely aware that people were stopping to stare but couldn't bring himself to care.

“Wo ai ni” Shampoo mouthed breathlessly as they broke apart.

“Wo ai ni” Ranma repeated to his bride to be.

Authors Notes:

First Ranma ½ fanfic that I've finished since 2009 (16 years) so I suppose that's cause for some celebration. Not sure if anyone even reads this stuff anymore? Is fanfiction still a thing? I used to read it at the rec.arts.anime.creative newsgroup, but most people reading this don't even know what a newsgroup is. Crap – shipped the wrong characters in this one (I hardcore shipped Ukyo/Ranma for years).

Anyway, this fanfic was originally written on an different premise. Shampoo was 'pretending' to hurt herself at Mousse's behest so that he could lie to Ranma and get her and Shampoo together to be husband #2. But then it turned out that she actually was hurting herself, I don't know, it got confusing and then coming back to it though, ugh... seemed a little cringe. It's still a rough ride reading about Shampoo cutting herself, but I tried to write it as more from the heart which I think really is the only way to play it. Shampoo is just as proud as Ranma and I could see her having no problem just cutting herself till she either forgot Ranma or died herself without making a fuss about it. Maybe this comes back to “The Suicide Blast” by Keener Barnes being one of my favorite Ranma ½ fanfics.

Regardless, thank you for sticking with me. I apologize for rushing some of his, kinda painted in some broad strokes in parts or honestly it probably never would have been written. It is interesting to think where this could go long-term. Shampoo basically has 1 ½ husbands now, and Akane only ½. Would Shampoo just end up falling for Mousse with Ranma out of the picture for half the year? Would Akane end up moving to China and live with the rest of them? Would Mousse and Akane close the love square? Honestly as much as I hate to admit it, in terms of long-term prospects it seems like Ranma would love life in the Amazon village, strong warriors, secret techniques, and lives lived around martial arts.

As always – keep the fandom strong!

RVincent

1625

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Random bit from the rough outline:

“Is common for man to have more than one wife in Amazon village.” Shampoo sniffled, “Not many men, lots of women. So sorry it not like that in Japan.” Shampoo cried.

“Hey!” Ranma smacked his fist into the palm of his hand, “We could all move to China!” He said suddenly.

“Not likely!” Akane yelled pushing down on Shampoo’s leg and causing her to wince.

“I not say we move China… Shampoo just talking to self.” She finished, again downcast.

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